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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour
21st May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour

Editor’s note: the following is the sixth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 5 here

Step 1 – Controlling Emotions

The objective of studying emotional intelligence is to obtain the ability to acquire control over the emotions.

Sometimes, the pain we feel is so much that we are emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes we are able to control our overwhelming emotions. Other times, we give into the flow and that is when we suffer the most. In such a situation, we should not let go of ourselves; we should be able to control our emotions.

Perhaps this is what patience is. Some people mix patience with forbearance, but the ability to control your emotions is patience. There is a significant difference between patience and forbearance. Forbearance is for physical pain and suffering, whereas patience is to do with the ability to control your emotions – to put your foot down and not let go of yourself.

Controlling emotions is very close in meaning to a Sufi term known as ‘Zarf’, which means great endurance.

Endurance is like durability.  For example, there are different kinds of suitcases on the market: Atelier, American Tourister, Samsonite, Delsey, Tommy, Rivera and Rimowa. They are made with different fibres, materials and matter. The most durable material will be sold at the most expensive price. How do we assess the durability? Durability is assessed by applying pressure and power to see how much the material can endure. Some materials that they make suitcases with will break easily while some others are really durable.

If it is a material and it is not easy to break, it is called durability. If it is a human being who can take any amount of pressure, doesn’t crack under pressure and survives, that is called endurance. Durability and endurance are brother and sister, so to speak.

Are Your Prayers Being Answered?

Emotions, when they are overwhelmingly excessive, behave like alcohol.

Some people are so affected by their emotions that if you check their pulse and blood pressure when they are emotionally charged up, the reading will be the same as if they were drunk. Any news – whether it is extremely good or extremely bad – will run shockwaves through their bodies.

Especially in Pakistan, when people go to apply for a visa to a western country, their hearts run like horses. Even if they don’t believe in God, at that moment in time God is very much in demand; he serves as an agent. To some people, the religious stuff works miracles. This is all cogitation. Whether or not God helps you, you have this imagination to hold onto when you believe in God.

We human beings are so ‘good’, we pray to God when we are in adversity. We call upon God when in need. There is a momentary soothing effect when you pray to God, even though you know, deep down in your heart, that God isn’t going to answer. It is just a mind game.

A prayer has a very soothing effect. This is why intelligent people suffer more because they don’t believe in God.

How many people are religious? The majority of people who practise a religion are not from well-to-do families and not opulent. They are those who have to go to the worship places to pray to God for a loaf of bread. Obviously, they will get a loaf of bread from here or there. Someone will come and even if he doesn’t believe in God, he will feel pity for them and give them a loaf of bread. Then the [religious man] will say, ‘Oh look, God heard my prayers. I was hungry; somebody came and fed me.’

This is the pattern of our behaviour. You will never appreciate the efforts of the person who helped you, but thankfulness from you will go to God. Human beings will do us a favour but we will never appreciate their favour. Instead of saying ‘Thank you,’ to the people who help us, we will say, ‘God, you have been so nice to me,’ and God does not know a thing about what is going on.

These religious people, at the time of adversity, find their solace in prayers and worship. However, when they are happy, how will they control their emotions now? When religious people are happy, they forget God. They only remember him at the time of need.

At the time of adversity, you can control your emotions through prayer, meditation, yoga and various different things. However, some people take the world by storm when they are happy. The way they behave when they’re extraordinarily happy, it is like they’re drunk. They lose their intelligence.

Step 2- Making Use of Emotions

Emotional intelligence is the ability to control and make use of your emotions. Controlling emotions is understandable, but what is making use of emotions?

When some people are emotionally charged up, you can convince them to give you donations. When they are not emotionally charged up, you tell them a thousand stories related to God, but they will never give you any donations. It is really bad to take advantage of somebody’s emotional state, however, as long as you are not ripping their pockets off and convincing them to contribute to a good cause, it is okay. When they are emotionally charged up, their emotions will make them do it. This is perhaps where the proverb comes from, ‘strike while the iron is still hot.’

In the moment when somebody is emotionally charged up and you give him His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi’s message of love, those emotions will help him understand your mission and message.

When I was in Pakistan, I had a friend and I would tell him about HDE Gohar Shahi every day. He would always turn a deaf ear on me. But then one day, when his father died, we went to the graveyard for the burial. He buried his father and we were sitting there. He was telling me, ‘Everyone has to die one day.’ Then, I told him about HDE Gohar Shahi. I was really shocked: he was listening to me very carefully. I thought he was just winding me up and maybe in another minute he would stand up and say, ‘Look, I made a fool out of you.’ But no, we spent a good one hour there. He was crying and telling me, ‘You’re right.’ Then we went to HDE Gohar Shahi and he was granted Opening of the Spiritual Heart.

I always wondered why he never understood the message before, but after his father died, it was like he was waiting for it. The difference was, when his father died and he was in the graveyard, he was overwhelmed with emotions. You need to see which emotion goes with what message.

God, somehow or other, is attached with suffering, starvation and a sense of deprivation. When you are in the spiritual and emotional vicinity of pain and suffering, then comes the message of God. People are looking for solace and comfort. Nothing is more comforting than something that can secure your future, especially if you are standing in a graveyard.

Now at this stage, controlling your emotions is Step 1. Step 2 is the ability to make use of those emotions. Some people who are evil will obviously make a bad use of your emotions.

You have to guard your emotions like you guard your virginity. Anybody can come and tell you a story; you shouldn’t expose your emotions to people.

You cannot take advantage of somebody’s emotions. You only use it for a good purpose. Making use of emotions is only allowed for the other person’s goodness, not your own goodness. But cunning people do the opposite. When they see somebody is emotional, they will come and sell them a story, fill their own pockets and run away. This is why emotional intelligence is very important in life.

We have discussed emotional intelligence and also the awareness of emotional intelligence so that If somebody is in an emotional state, we can respect their emotions and then how to help them control their emotions.

Some people are very vulnerable and when they are overwhelmed with emotions, they cannot control their emotions. But what are friends for? If you have a friend who is going through such an emotional crisis phase in his life, it is your moral obligation to go and fix his emotional problems and help him control his emotions. Maybe they don’t know how to control their emotions; they may get carried away in those emotions and cause great harm. If they cannot control their emotions, as a friend, you should be volunteering yourself in controlling their emotions and making sure nobody makes use of their emotions.

When you are angry, in the heat of the moment, you say silly things that you don’t mean. Similarly, when you are in an emotional state, the world looks different, everything looks different. In normal life, you will see that there are many hurdles but when you are emotionally charged up, you will see no boundaries. You think you can do anything.

Intelligence does not work when you are emotionally charged up. I personally believe that you have to be more emotionally intelligent than this mental intelligence. Emotions are so powerful; they supersede all your intellect. Emotions can screw up your intellect any time and make your head empty of intellect.

If you have £100 and you see people are starving and suffering, you’ll give it all away in an emotional state. When you come back home, you will only blame yourself. You will say, ‘Why did I do that?’ If you do this in spirituality, it is not allowed. What is not allowed in spirituality? That you were emotionally overwhelmed and saw somebody starving and in need, you gave him or her all your money and when you came home, you now regret it.

It is not allowed in spirituality to do a good thing and regret it later on.

You should measure your goodness and charity and always keep emotional and intellectual intelligence intact.

‘I think I should give him £20, and then I will be left with £30. I can easily manage one week with £30.’ Now you will not regret it. But if you donate £100 and you only had £100, then that was a one-off charity. You will never do that charity again in your life.

Sometimes, emotions can really misguide you. Emotions should be intact with intellectualism. If the intellect is separated from emotions, you are in trouble.

My father used to say, ‘Do not be too sweet or people will swallow you. Do not be too bitter or people will spit you out [Urdu Proverb].’ We have to stay in the middle.

Every human being should be emotionally intelligent and you will only do certain things when you are emotionally intelligent.

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Younus AlGohar

Representative of The Awaited One Lord Ra Riaz Gohar Shahi. Recognised as Ambassador of Peace and Man of Valour. Advocate of divine love and interfaith harmony.
About the Author
Younus AlGohar is the representative of The Awaited One Lord Ra Riaz Gohar Shahi. Recognised as Ambassador of Peace and Man of Valour. Advocate of divine love and interfaith harmony. London, United Kingdom.
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22 hours ago

Younus AlGohar

New Video: Farz Aur Ibadat Mein Kya Farq Hai? | By Younus AlGohar www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GfnMckDAps

Younus AlGohar explains the difference between religious obligations and worship at the request of a viewer.

Summary

The Koran 51:56 says, 'I created Jinns and human beings to worship me.'

- The word God used for worship was 'Aboodiyat'. It comes from the same group of words as 'Abd'. God used the word 'Abd' to refer to Prophet Mohammad as well. The combination of body and soul is known as 'Abd'. So 'Aboodiyat' means to love God and become obedient to God with both your body and soul.

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- The greatest obligation without which no other obligation can be fulfilled is the permanent settlement of the invocation of God's name within you. The Salat ul Wusta (Middle Prayer) mentioned in Koran 2:238 refers to the invocation of God's name in the Spiritual Heart.

- On the Primordial Day, when all the souls were assembled, God first asked them, 'Am I not with your Lord?' and they affirmed it. The God showed the souls the modelled luxuries of the world and said that whoever desired it may go forth and obtain it. A countless number of souls leapt towards it and God commanded the angels to write it in their book of fate. Then God showed the modelled luxuries of paradise and said that whoever desired it may go forth and obtain it. Many souls leapt towards it and this was written in the book of fate by the angels. There were many souls who were indecisive; they could not decide between the luxuries of paradise and the world. The time ran out and God told the angels to leave their fate blank; they are known to have a 'suspended fate'. If God had sent those who chose the luxuries of the world straight to hellfire on the Primordial Day, the souls would have objected. They would have said, 'This was a choice made out of poor intelligence. Nevertheless, we did not act upon it.' Therefore to avoid such objections, God sent them to the world so that they could act in accordance with their fate.

- This world is an examination hall. The Devil does his utmost to misguide you. You must empower and strengthen yourself with divine energy. You must find the right path. And these days, it is very difficult to find the right path - people become subject to divisions on the basis of sectarianism, nationalism, etc. We are in the end times. Tyranny is everywhere. In such a wilderness of hatred, HDE Gohar Shahi is the only one giving the message and practical methodology through which you may become connected to God and enlightened. There is no other path but this.

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Sufi Online with Younus AlGohar | ALRA TV | 19 March 2019
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Younus AlGohar

New Video: Nabi Aur Rasool Mein Farq | By Younus AlGohar www.youtube.com/watch?v=A533rPGlBVM

Sayyidi Younus AlGohar explains the difference between a Prophet and a Messenger. He elaborates on the concept of Finality of Prophethood and Messengerhood.

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Have a question for HH Younus AlGohar? Text your questions to us on WhatsApp: +447380315726 or Facebook messenger: m.me/alratv

Watch the live recordings of these lectures every day at 22:00 GMT at: www.younusalgohar.com

Can't access this video? Watch it on Daily Motion:
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Listen to this speech on the go with SoundCloud:
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