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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 7: Emotional Sanity
12th July 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 7: Emotional Sanity

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 7: Emotional Sanity

Editor’s note: the following is the seventh lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald.

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 6 here.

Having studied different cases relating to our intellectual well-being and welfare, the findings have astoundingly surprised me. I conclude that the human brain is so vulnerable to becoming prey to different situations where emotions play their part, and our emotional sanity is badly affected.

What happens to our mental welfare when we strive and long for certain things but don’t get them? A sense of deprivation prevails on the surface of our emotional river. What transpires in a human brain when a person has access to all luxuries and comforts in the world?

The Sense of Achievement and Sense of Deprivation

Let’s suppose a child asks his or her parents to buy an expensive toy. Some parents are financially well-off and have so much love for their child that they buy that expensive toy for their child.

Having acquired that toy, what transpires in the faculty of the child’s emotions? What possible emotional aftermath could occur when the child’s desire is fulfilled? He must have gotten a sense of achievement.

In comparison to the child who acquired the toy of his or her desire, let’s talk about a child who had a similar desire but his or her parents were not able to afford that toy. As a result, there was a sense of deprivation felt by the child.

We have to closely monitor these two senses. What would be the impact of these two different senses on these two different children?

If this is just a single incident, whereby the child did not receive the toy from his or her parents, and when another toy is desired, it is given to the child, that initial sense of deprivation would become null and void. For the child who did acquire the expensive toy, the sense of achievement would have created this notion in his or her brain that anything is reachable. He or she begins to think, ‘I just need to say it for it to be done.’ This is where the imbalance in your emotional state occurs. 

The Duty of a Parent

Once the child acquired what he or she desired, now is the time for that sense of achievement to become null and void. Next time when the child asks for even a small toy, don’t give it to him or her. By doing this, you are actually securing his or her emotional well-being. The sense of achievement the child had developed when he or she acquired the expensive toy will go down the drain when another desired toy is not given to him or her. Their emotional sanity is restored.

If you had refused to buy a toy for your child, the sense of deprivation would strike on his or her mind; what you should do is to buy your child the toy they ask for next time, even if it is inexpensive. If you don’t do that, the sense of deprivation will have taken root in the child’s brain which is not good for his or her emotional sanity.

The sense of achievement and deprivation both go hand in hand. They are parallel to each other.

When a child is sick, the doctors tell you to give the child paracetamol – and, in intervals, give them ibuprofen. Similarly, fulfil one desire of the child and say no to the other.

Say no to one toy and say yes to the other. If you keep saying yes every time the child wishes to get something, you are actually destroying your child. If you keep saying no every time, because you think, ‘I do not have means, how can I buy anything for my child?’ this is detrimental to your child’s mental health. Even if you have to borrow some money, get your child the toy because you will be doing it for the sake of the welfare and wellbeing their emotional state.

The same goes for the adults. If you try and every time you try, you fail, this is going to have a very bad impact on your emotional sanity. 

When I was in Pakistan, a friend of mine asked me to go to China with him. So we went to the Chinese embassy. He got the visa but I was refused. Then we made a plan to visit Bangladesh. We applied for a visa. He got the visa but I was refused. I was beginning to wonder, ‘Why? What’s wrong with me?’ I didn’t really realise what was going on. Then a few months later, I applied for the British visa. When I was entering the UK embassy in Islamabad, I was so nervous and paranoid; my heart was galloping like a horse. I was denied the visa once again. At this point, my emotional sanity was disturbed.

Then, I applied for the Indian visa and I got it. You can’t imagine how happy I was! I had broken the shackles – I was on the no-go list and suddenly I got a visa. My emotional rationality and sanity was being restored. Getting the visa was one thing, but the aftermath implications of having or not having the visa was another.  If I have the visa, I will have a sense of achievement, if I don’t have it, I will have a sense of deprivation. Both are aftermath impacts. I was relieved and it restored my emotional condition.

For example, every day in your business, you are losing £1000. Suddenly, one day, you make £500. You will be amazingly happy because the losing streak has stopped. That change will make you happy – not because of the monetary benefit, but because of your emotional well-being. The sense of deprivation will be gone. The sense of achievement, when you needed it, will restore your emotional sanity.

What Affects The Emotional State?

We are living in a jungle of different types of emotions. Every action and deed is directly linked with an emotion.

Every action and deed, whether it is your deed or somebody else’s, is going to have some effect on your emotional state. For example, if you see somebody is helping the needy ones, you will have positive emotions for that person. If someone is beating up somebody for no reason and is being abusive, you will have negative emotions for them.

Everything we do will have an impact on the emotional sanity of people around us. You are the one who will make positive or negative emotions in the hearts of other people.

What you do will shape up emotions of people for you. This is the reason why some people fake what they do in order to earn positive emotions from others. In the eyes of people, they do certain things and everybody praises them but behind the scenes, something else is going on.

If the schools, colleges and universities are full, you should not expect anybody to be ignorant but even then the world is full of ignorance. Similarly, when the mosques, churches, temples and synagogues are full of worshippers, why is the world bad?

When these people are in the worship places, they are good; when they come out, they change. If they were genuinely worshipping God, they would have changed. This world would have changed.

Are You Emotionally Intelligent?

It’s not just your actions. What you say is also directly linked with emotions. When you say something nice, it will please many hearts. One nasty word from you will trouble so many hearts. People will develop a sense of hatred because they cannot deny what they see and hear.

No matter what you do behind the scenes, what you do in front of people is the only thing that will create negative or positive emotions in their hearts.

People have negative emotions for you because of your bad deeds and words. People love you and praise you because of your good deeds and morality. The way you give people respect and the way you conduct yourself [will generate positive emotions in their hearts for you]. You are not emotionally intelligent if you do not realise this.

Some wounds that are caused by weapons heal quickly, but the wounds done to your heart verbally stay on the soul forever and are never healed. Make sure you are very careful with your mouth. With this one piece of meat between your jaws, you create problems for yourself.

Everything is live. People change their mind every second. You could do good things all your life and just do one bad thing will make people change their mind about you. Be careful. Nobody is your enemy. You yourself are either your friend or enemy. When you become carefree and think, ‘I will do what I want to do,’ you are actually making people hate you. You think you are powerful and you got away with what you said, but people will hate you because you are exposing yourself. If you are incapable of doing any goodness, stay the way you are, but do not fake it.

We are all closely linked to each other. Our lives are very much dependent on each other. You cannot live a solitary life. Our happiness is very much dependent on others. Emotions are the backbone of your social life. What you say and do will definitely create some kind of emotions in your heart as well as in the heart of others.

Conflict of Emotions

Do you realise that in the moment in time when you feel a sense of achievement ,somebody in front of you is touching upon the sense of deprivation?

There is a conflict of emotions between you and that person, which will create jealousy.

Day in and day out, we only care about ourselves and we hurt others. When we do this, even our family members are emotionally millions of miles away from our hearts. Sometimes we do it and we are responsible for creating this rift and sometimes they are responsible. How can you have a good relationship when emotionally you are falling apart? 

Now is the time for us to be emotionally and spiritually intelligent. We should know what it is that is good for us and what is bad for us.

In order to have a good relationship, you want to make sure that your emotions are aligned and you do what you can to create an emotional bond [with those around you]. When you do not have an emotional bond, how can you have a love bond? It is not just our own emotions – we should also be concerned about the emotions of those who live around us.

A good spiritual man is one who only begets positive emotions, who does not beget negative emotions and who does not cause any other person to beget negative emotions.

Food For Thought

Do we care about the effect of what we do and say on the people who live with us? Or the people that we are dealing with in our day-to-day lives? We also must monitor ourselves and ensure that anything we say does not affect anybody’s emotional sanity or cause them to create negative emotions in their hearts.

On the other hand, if you are doing or saying the right thing – for the benefit of humanity –  and it hurts somebody, then it is not your problem. This is because they do not care about humanity; the truth is hurting them because they care about their ego. If they did not care about their ego and actually cared about the humanity, then the truth would make them happy. Always say the right thing [no matter what].

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How Emotions Shape Up Complexes
12th June 2017|LecturesVideos

How Emotions Shape Up Complexes

Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence, Lesson 4:

How many human beings out of millions of people out there want to study themselves, want to study how emotions value themselves in our life; how emotionally do we go wrong and how our own emotions play with us and our mind? Due to the fact that we don’t have enough knowledge of our own self [and others around us], we never get to know our own emotions and feelings, the right conduct that we must carry; our demeanour, boundaries, our liberties and then liberties and boundaries of others. We take it for granted.

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour
21st May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour

Editor’s note: the following is the sixth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 5 here

Step 1 – Controlling Emotions

The objective of studying emotional intelligence is to obtain the ability to acquire control over the emotions.

Sometimes, the pain we feel is so much that we are emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes we are able to control our overwhelming emotions. Other times, we give into the flow and that is when we suffer the most. In such a situation, we should not let go of ourselves; we should be able to control our emotions.

Perhaps this is what patience is. Some people mix patience with forbearance, but the ability to control your emotions is patience. There is a significant difference between patience and forbearance. Forbearance is for physical pain and suffering, whereas patience is to do with the ability to control your emotions – to put your foot down and not let go of yourself.

Controlling emotions is very close in meaning to a Sufi term known as ‘Zarf’, which means great endurance.

Endurance is like durability.  For example, there are different kinds of suitcases on the market: Atelier, American Tourister, Samsonite, Delsey, Tommy, Rivera and Rimowa. They are made with different fibres, materials and matter. The most durable material will be sold at the most expensive price. How do we assess the durability? Durability is assessed by applying pressure and power to see how much the material can endure. Some materials that they make suitcases with will break easily while some others are really durable.

If it is a material and it is not easy to break, it is called durability. If it is a human being who can take any amount of pressure, doesn’t crack under pressure and survives, that is called endurance. Durability and endurance are brother and sister, so to speak.

Are Your Prayers Being Answered?

Emotions, when they are overwhelmingly excessive, behave like alcohol.

Some people are so affected by their emotions that if you check their pulse and blood pressure when they are emotionally charged up, the reading will be the same as if they were drunk. Any news – whether it is extremely good or extremely bad – will run shockwaves through their bodies.

Especially in Pakistan, when people go to apply for a visa to a western country, their hearts run like horses. Even if they don’t believe in God, at that moment in time God is very much in demand; he serves as an agent. To some people, the religious stuff works miracles. This is all cogitation. Whether or not God helps you, you have this imagination to hold onto when you believe in God.

We human beings are so ‘good’, we pray to God when we are in adversity. We call upon God when in need. There is a momentary soothing effect when you pray to God, even though you know, deep down in your heart, that God isn’t going to answer. It is just a mind game.

A prayer has a very soothing effect. This is why intelligent people suffer more because they don’t believe in God.

How many people are religious? The majority of people who practise a religion are not from well-to-do families and not opulent. They are those who have to go to the worship places to pray to God for a loaf of bread. Obviously, they will get a loaf of bread from here or there. Someone will come and even if he doesn’t believe in God, he will feel pity for them and give them a loaf of bread. Then the [religious man] will say, ‘Oh look, God heard my prayers. I was hungry; somebody came and fed me.’

This is the pattern of our behaviour. You will never appreciate the efforts of the person who helped you, but thankfulness from you will go to God. Human beings will do us a favour but we will never appreciate their favour. Instead of saying ‘Thank you,’ to the people who help us, we will say, ‘God, you have been so nice to me,’ and God does not know a thing about what is going on.

These religious people, at the time of adversity, find their solace in prayers and worship. However, when they are happy, how will they control their emotions now? When religious people are happy, they forget God. They only remember him at the time of need.

At the time of adversity, you can control your emotions through prayer, meditation, yoga and various different things. However, some people take the world by storm when they are happy. The way they behave when they’re extraordinarily happy, it is like they’re drunk. They lose their intelligence.

Step 2- Making Use of Emotions

Emotional intelligence is the ability to control and make use of your emotions. Controlling emotions is understandable, but what is making use of emotions?

When some people are emotionally charged up, you can convince them to give you donations. When they are not emotionally charged up, you tell them a thousand stories related to God, but they will never give you any donations. It is really bad to take advantage of somebody’s emotional state, however, as long as you are not ripping their pockets off and convincing them to contribute to a good cause, it is okay. When they are emotionally charged up, their emotions will make them do it. This is perhaps where the proverb comes from, ‘strike while the iron is still hot.’

In the moment when somebody is emotionally charged up and you give him His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi’s message of love, those emotions will help him understand your mission and message.

When I was in Pakistan, I had a friend and I would tell him about HDE Gohar Shahi every day. He would always turn a deaf ear on me. But then one day, when his father died, we went to the graveyard for the burial. He buried his father and we were sitting there. He was telling me, ‘Everyone has to die one day.’ Then, I told him about HDE Gohar Shahi. I was really shocked: he was listening to me very carefully. I thought he was just winding me up and maybe in another minute he would stand up and say, ‘Look, I made a fool out of you.’ But no, we spent a good one hour there. He was crying and telling me, ‘You’re right.’ Then we went to HDE Gohar Shahi and he was granted Opening of the Spiritual Heart.

I always wondered why he never understood the message before, but after his father died, it was like he was waiting for it. The difference was, when his father died and he was in the graveyard, he was overwhelmed with emotions. You need to see which emotion goes with what message.

God, somehow or other, is attached with suffering, starvation and a sense of deprivation. When you are in the spiritual and emotional vicinity of pain and suffering, then comes the message of God. People are looking for solace and comfort. Nothing is more comforting than something that can secure your future, especially if you are standing in a graveyard.

Now at this stage, controlling your emotions is Step 1. Step 2 is the ability to make use of those emotions. Some people who are evil will obviously make a bad use of your emotions.

You have to guard your emotions like you guard your virginity. Anybody can come and tell you a story; you shouldn’t expose your emotions to people.

You cannot take advantage of somebody’s emotions. You only use it for a good purpose. Making use of emotions is only allowed for the other person’s goodness, not your own goodness. But cunning people do the opposite. When they see somebody is emotional, they will come and sell them a story, fill their own pockets and run away. This is why emotional intelligence is very important in life.

We have discussed emotional intelligence and also the awareness of emotional intelligence so that If somebody is in an emotional state, we can respect their emotions and then how to help them control their emotions.

Some people are very vulnerable and when they are overwhelmed with emotions, they cannot control their emotions. But what are friends for? If you have a friend who is going through such an emotional crisis phase in his life, it is your moral obligation to go and fix his emotional problems and help him control his emotions. Maybe they don’t know how to control their emotions; they may get carried away in those emotions and cause great harm. If they cannot control their emotions, as a friend, you should be volunteering yourself in controlling their emotions and making sure nobody makes use of their emotions.

When you are angry, in the heat of the moment, you say silly things that you don’t mean. Similarly, when you are in an emotional state, the world looks different, everything looks different. In normal life, you will see that there are many hurdles but when you are emotionally charged up, you will see no boundaries. You think you can do anything.

Intelligence does not work when you are emotionally charged up. I personally believe that you have to be more emotionally intelligent than this mental intelligence. Emotions are so powerful; they supersede all your intellect. Emotions can screw up your intellect any time and make your head empty of intellect.

If you have £100 and you see people are starving and suffering, you’ll give it all away in an emotional state. When you come back home, you will only blame yourself. You will say, ‘Why did I do that?’ If you do this in spirituality, it is not allowed. What is not allowed in spirituality? That you were emotionally overwhelmed and saw somebody starving and in need, you gave him or her all your money and when you came home, you now regret it.

It is not allowed in spirituality to do a good thing and regret it later on.

You should measure your goodness and charity and always keep emotional and intellectual intelligence intact.

‘I think I should give him £20, and then I will be left with £30. I can easily manage one week with £30.’ Now you will not regret it. But if you donate £100 and you only had £100, then that was a one-off charity. You will never do that charity again in your life.

Sometimes, emotions can really misguide you. Emotions should be intact with intellectualism. If the intellect is separated from emotions, you are in trouble.

My father used to say, ‘Do not be too sweet or people will swallow you. Do not be too bitter or people will spit you out [Urdu Proverb].’ We have to stay in the middle.

Every human being should be emotionally intelligent and you will only do certain things when you are emotionally intelligent.

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 5: Where Your Moral Values Come From
14th May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 5: Where Your Moral Values Come From

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 5: Where Your Moral Values Come From

Editor’s note: the following is the fifth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 4 here.

How Emotional Intelligence Affects Every Aspect of Life

When a singer is singing a sad song, he has to feel the pain the words delivered in the song. Happy or humourous songs also have to be sung with emotions; they call it the feeling. In a similar way, when we listen to the news like Sky News, BBC News, CNN etc., we see emotions are involved in the way the newscaster delivers the news. If the news is sad, we see emotions of sadness and sorrow emanating from his face and if it’s good news, he will smile. Now, a doctor’s job is really difficult because every patient that comes to see him brings bad news. The doctor has to be in the same mood, or at least the same emotional state (even if it is fake, he has to show that emotionally he is aware of the situation), and this is emotional intelligence.

What are moral etiquettes? If somebody tells us, ‘my mother died five years ago’, in that moment if we skip saying ‘I am really sorry’, people will be really offended. We need to be aware of these things and have some moral etiquettes, some emotional intelligence and its awareness.

Emotions play a pivotal role in our life. For example, if you see a child who needs milk but his/her parents are unable to provide milk, it will remind you of your own child. When you think about your own child, your emotions will be charged up. In that emotional state, you start to help the child that doesn’t belong to you.

We’re only concerned about ourselves. This should not be the case with a spiritual person. We must observe all spiritual, social and moral etiquettes, so that we do not cause any harm, physical or emotional, to any individual in this world. If somebody looks a bit sad or emotionally down, you should respect his emotional state. Change the way you speak to him every day, be a little more polite with him. This is emotional intelligence. 

Emotional Intelligence Crisis

Emotions push you to do good things, however, at the same time, these emotions can backfire.

For example, some Muslims blew up a bomb and many people died. Later on, a Muslim guy is seen showing his anger to somebody in a neighbourhood, somebody watching him may be reminded of the Muslim terrorists, and his emotions will reach their peak. Maybe in that emotional state, that man [watching] can cause any amount of harm to that Muslim guy who is shouting and abusing others. This is how people become outrageous sometimes. Backlashes and hate crimes are the prime examples.


A Kurdish boy was beaten up badly by eight people. He didn’t do anything wrong, he was just Muslim but this happened because so many Muslim terrorists are causing a lot of distress and have become a threat to the national security of many countries of the world. This has become a very sensitive matter and it can happen anytime, anywhere and it is all to do with emotions.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist. Sikhs – because they grow beards and wear turbans like Muslims – are easily recognisable to Muslims; they can identify them as Sikhs because their turban is different and by the length of their beard, etc. But after 9/11 in Arizona, the Americans who were naive to Islam or Sikhism, when they spotted somebody with a turban and a big beard, they thought the Sikh man was Muslim and killed him. This is an emotional intelligence crisis.

To help stop terrorism, it is not just about deradicalisation, you also have to take care of the emotional intelligence of people so that people do not become outrageous and are able to control their own emotions.

Moral and Societal Values

One important thing in the study of emotional intelligence is moral values and ethical codes.

Morality in this world has different shapes, forms and sources. Some people find moral values from their society. In our society, certain things are allowed and some things are not allowed. For example, in a British town, the societal values will definitely differ from a Pakistani town.

Sometimes the society is deeply and vehemently affected by the religion of the land and its code of conduct; its ethical code and moral values come from the religion. In Pakistan, a woman and a man cannot have a sexual relationship without marriage but in a British town, with consent, adults can enter into a sexual relationship and can even live together. Society here will allow it because it is not against the moral values of British society.

Moral values differ from society to society, because each society has a different source for its moral values. However, sometimes your moral values come neither from any religion nor the society. Sometimes you are the boss and make your own rules. I have heard people saying, ‘In my family, nobody can do this. This is against our family law and tradition.’  Therefore, there is not just one single source of morality.

In order to have precise understanding and awareness of emotional intelligence, we need to first see what moral values we have adopted. Only after determining the source of our moral values can we detect the awareness of emotional intelligence.

You need to find the source. What is it that dictates your emotions? What is it that brings rage and fury in your emotional state? It is your belief system.

Those who are religious, are very difficult and it is very difficult for them to be emotionally intelligent. They are swimming in the ocean of their religion; their mind is messed up. It’s not possible for somebody to be religious and rational at the same time. Religions will always make you irrational.

For example, Muslims in Luton, are carrying banners and saying, ‘we will impose Sharia.’ They’re looking at white women and saying, ‘your dress is not according to Islam.’ She doesn’t practise Islam! Why are you telling her? It is your religion, why are you imposing your religion on others? It simply means your mind is messed up. It is not rationality, is it? But this is the reality. Does a Christian have the same rights in a Muslim country as Muslims have in the west? Muslims are allowed to build their mosques here. Can a Christian man go to Saudi Arabia and do whatever he wants to do according to his religion?

Look at how good this secular system is! You know why they do it? It’s because their mind is not messed up. If people in the west were also very religious, practising Christians, they would behave the same way. But because they are non-practising Christians, their mind is not messed up by the religion hence they behave like human beings. They have generosity, rationality and their own moral codes. Their moral code is: whatever religion somebody practises, they should have the fundamental necessities of life.

Why should we follow a religion when a religion is taking away humanity from human beings?  Why do we have this fanatic ideology uprising? Why do we have this extremism spreading like fire? Why is hatred prevailing? Because there is a conflict in morality. The standards you may have, the other person does not have the same standards of moral values.

Your emotional intelligence is directly linked to moral values. Unfortunately, moral values in different societies have different sources therefore what may be a moral act according to you may not be moral to somebody else.

When we talk about morality, our morality is not universal. Our morality is more regional than global. We all have different standards of morality.

Now according to some form of morality, you only hide your private parts. If you are hiding the nipples, your morality is perfect. In most of the secular, moral cultures, women are not allowed to show their nipples, it would be too obscene and immoral. According to liberal Muslims, women can show half their chest. They have accepted it and it has become part of their moral values. Moral values are changing according to secular culture. According to religious culture, moral values are frozen; they have become stagnant. Even the law of the land can shape your moral values. When you are a religious person and your moral values come from religion you do not recognise any other form of morality, which obviously means intolerance is at its peak. You cannot coexist with others in the same society.

Universal morality has to do with tolerance. What you like to do, you should be allowed to do. What others like to do, you shouldn’t be bothered about it.

What is a sin? There are two forms of sins according to a religion. A sin which goes against humanity, you hurt and harm humanity and the other sin which goes against you, which hurts and harms you. Those that hurt and harm you are of less implication. A sin that involves others, causes pain, hurt and harm to others, that is severity. That is to be stopped.

Do not try to impose your beliefs on others. Let everybody live their life the way they want to live it.

Emotional Intelligence and God

When God has emotional intelligence, then why don’t  people who follow a religion have it?

The reason is God doesn’t follow the same religion. God’s religion is different. His religion is love. The problem is, he only practises his religion with those that practise his religion: The religion of love. 

These religions that have been established by prophets and messengers, the standard of morality these religions render to its followers very much depends on the society at the time these religions were established. What was the standard of religious morality in those times when Prophet Mohammad came to the peninsula of Arab? What was the standard of morality at the time when Jesus came to Jerusalem? You will see a slight improvement in the standard of morality after the religion introduced its moral values. If you want to compare the standards of morality now with the standards back then, you will fall back. The standard of morality in those days was really strict. This was about the religion and followers of the religions.

However in all eras, in all ages, whoever was introduced to the knowledge of spirituality, the knowledge of eminence, their emotional intelligence equalled the intelligence of God. They didn’t pick up their moral values from the religion, they picked it up from spirituality. The standard of spiritual values is vast. They embrace and forgive anyone. Most of the irregular things in this world according to moral values are okay for Sufis. No damage is done. You can do what you want to do as long as you don’t hurt others. 

This should be the case with everybody today. Allow everybody to do what they want to do. There is a voice within everybody that guides them and tells them not to do wrong, no matter what religion they practise. Even atheists who don’t practise any religion or believe in God, do not want to sleep with their sisters or mothers. Why don’t they do it?  Because these are basic principles and natural human instincts.

Let our moral values derive from the basic principles of humanity.

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 4: Optimising Your IQ
5th May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 4: Optimising Your IQ

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 4: Optimising Your IQ

Editor’s note: the following is the fourth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 3 here.

How many human beings out of millions of people out there want to study themselves, want to study how emotions value themselves in our life; how emotionally do we go wrong and how our own emotions play with us and our mind? Due to the fact that we don’t have enough knowledge of our own self [and others around us], we never get to know our own emotions and feelings, the right conduct that we must carry; our demeanour, boundaries, our liberties and then liberties and boundaries of others. We take it for granted.

Our life is messed up because don’t know anything about ourselves. We don’t know how emotions work. We don’t know how emotionally we are charged up, and sometimes feeling very lowly emotionally. The discerning experts on this subject lack a lot in what they describe as emotional intelligence. The description of emotional intelligence that I put forward in front of you is not based on what people study in the universities. My discourses on these subjects come from a divine source: His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi.

Emotions are like untamed vibes or they are waves of the ocean. Emotions move our entire being from one point to another. We are just going with the flow. With the ups and downs of emotions. We have no control. Although we say to ourselves ‘I am a very strong man’, but our strength is only deceptive. We are just fooling ourselves.

Emotional Complexes

When emotions hit you, no matter how strong you are, you will cry like a baby. You do not want to get entrapped in any of the emotional complexes.

There are mainly two complexes: a complex of being superior and a complex of being inferior.

Now the question is why do some people suffer from a superiority complex and others from an inferiority complex? Psychology doesn’t have the answer to this. But those who have a very strong ego, more often, they are the ones who get entrapped by the complex of superiority.

We are going to see how our emotions shape up to form a complex. A complex is a set of more than one thing. Our emotions: feelings of joy when we achieve something, feelings of sorrow and sadness when we fail. Some people when they fail, they don’t simply have feelings of sorrow; they have this strange feeling of rejection. If they fail again, the emotional trauma that they go through doubles the pain and sorrow. When they fail for the third time, all the pain, all the sadness, sorrow and the feelings of rejection get muddled up and form a complex. This complex, oftentimes, is duly aided by depression.

Those who suffer from superiority complex – don’t think they are always happy, they’re not happy. Their superiority depends on phraseology only. They are just chatterboxes. When they speak they’ll say they’re better than you, but inside they know they’re messed up.

His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi said, ‘Neither superiority complex is good for you nor inferiority complex is good for you.’

Then what should you do? HDE enquires us to be as we are. When we do good, say thank you. When we do bad; sorry, I won’t repeat the mistake. This is the reality.

Emotional complexes, as I assume, are fantasies. We are just thinking. Sometimes you are good, but you think you are bad. You know why you are bad? Because you are declaring yourself bad without even calculating your bad things. You assume you are bad and you enforce it upon you.

Optimising Intelligence

God has given everybody equal intelligence.

I have seen the movie ‘Lucy’ – Nobody’s brain works more than 15%-20%. If your brain starts to work 25% you will leave all the scientists behind. But they do not know how to increase the ability of the brain to its optimum. [In the movie] they use a special green liquid which releases into the womb of the mother when the baby is growing inside the stomach called CPH4, if that substance is inserted into your body it will multiply the cells in the brain. Maybe that will work 25%. If your brain works more than 20%, you can control everything with your mind.

When I was in school I learnt hypnotism. What you need to do is either absorb the blue light in the candle or look at the sun without blinking for five minutes, then gradually increase the time, the duration. I used to look at the sun without blinking for at least two hours. After that, if I would concentrate on a glass, I would break it. If I concentrate on your brain, I can make you do anything. This is when your brain is working in small digits in comparison to others. If your brain works 20%, you will become a saint of God. So much power is given to you! 

Why is the brain not working at its optimum? Because there are three layers on the soul of the brain, the Subtlety of Ana. If your Ana is enlightened and you have seen God your brain works at 100%. [Those who reach this stage] have to control [themselves] by doing stupid things. They know things but it is difficult for them to behave like a normal person. While they try to behave like a normal person they always make mistakes and people think they are stupid.

So, do not think you are bad. Do not think you are lower than anybody. God has given all of you the same optimum in everything you have been given, for except your access to him. 

Access to God depends on how much nearness he wants to grant you. You cannot be nearer to God more than God desires you to be. It is all up to him. However, as long as the ability of your physical organs is concerned, you are all equal. All you need to do is charge up or awaken those extra senses that you have been granted by God. 

The complex that you are inferior or superior to somebody is just a mind game. It comes from the society. It comes from the classes of society. There are systems of classes in different countries. Here, we have social classes. For example, somebody from a working class works at McDonald’s, we can understand he doesn’t have enough resources to go to university and acquire higher education, therefore his level of understanding of life is lower than those who have been granted a prestigious lifestyle. They have been less fortunate in relation to having access to an abundance of money and opportunities to them.

These divisions and classes are the results of inabilities and incapacities; sometimes mental incapacity and most of the time financial incapacity. But then, [you are only using] 20% of your brain. No human being on earth can cross over 20% usage of the brain. After 20% there is a layer placed by God.

However, once you have seen God, that layer is removed. Then, forget about spirituality, if you only use your brain you can control the entire world. Honestly.

Before you reach that level in spirituality where your brain has extended its capacity to 100% – reaches its optimum – God wants to churn you. [He wants you] to go through the process of self-denial so that, in the end, when you discover this divine treasure, you don’t own it. You simply say, ‘This is with the blessings of the Lord. I am a piece of shit.’ You go through this divinely imposed cycle of negation and self-denial. God wants to make sure that there is nothing left of you in you when this treasure is finally opened up. This is why when people have this ability, they sit there and look stupid. You suspect them [and think] had he had this much power, he wouldn’t be sitting here stupidly.

For example, you are starving; no food to eat, no place to go to, you can’t even buy a loaf of bread and you say,’ I have billions of dollars in my pocket’. We will not believe you. Why?  Our intellect has only seen a few patterns of emotions. [We will think] if he had the money why would he be starving? These are the patterns of emotions life shows us.

Divine Light

What is light? Light consists of photons. There is a body of photons and there is a soul of photons. The body of photons is what we see and the soul of photons is divine energy that goes in the heart. When the divine energy reaches the heart; the moment it is completely energised there is a big bang, like your skull has been cracked open. That is the sound of the eruption of energy, not the skull. Then, the third eye opens up.

After this, you will have two windows in front of your eyes: the exterior and interior of people. What they say and what they have in their heart; you can see both at the same time.

This complex of emotions has to be steered in the right way and that right way is being grateful to the Lord. Do not attribute any goodness to yourself. Because what is in you now has come from God; it is the attribute of God. So you must attribute all the goodness in you to God. Our emotions should be based on this. All our emotions should always be based on this line that any goodness that we have today is from our Lord. When you have this emotion, you are successful. 

Superiority and Inferiority Complexes

Point to be noted: sometimes you do not suffer from any complex. If you are doing the right thing and everybody around you is incorrect; you think people should follow you. This is a balanced thought. There is nothing wrong with this. There is no ego and superiority involved in it. It is a simple matter of discipline. However, people will steer your attention to a misguided direction and say you are being egoistic. These are negative things that come from those who do not want to correct themselves, rather they put the blame on others.

We don’t understand what these complexes are. Maybe somebody who suffers from superiority complex is humble and maybe somebody who is suffering from inferiority complex is arrogant.

These complexes are about the thoughts; either complex can become a deterrent for you to learn further. If you suffer from superiority complex it is like you shut the door on yourself, ‘I cannot learn anything else, [I have all the knowledge]’. If you suffer from inferiority complex, you shut the door: ‘I am not able to learn anything’. The result is the same! Therefore, both complexes are bad. 

You have to live a real life, don’t live in fantasies or dreams. Even before the creation of computers, a majority of people lived in the virtual world; the world of dreams. People set a desired list and they call that list of luxury their dream. They live all their life in pursuit of that desired list of luxury. When it doesn’t happen they plunge into the pond of inferiority complex. And if by mistake they get even half of what they have desired, they plunge into a superiority complex.

Live a realistic life. Be a realistic person. Forget about plans. Live for today; but don’t think about today, think about tomorrow. Be ambitious but not over ambitious.

Emotional Wellbeing

Our emotions are often less complex than we imagine them to be. Most people think that the things that have hurt you are what cause you to experience emotional pain, and in order to heal and experience real happiness you must resolve those old wounds. The reality, however, is somewhat different.

You can only feel emotions, including the painful ones, in the present moment. And what you feel in the present moment is determined by what you give your attention to. Nothing can hurt you unless you give it your attention. Most people can make themselves cry in just a few minutes by simply pulling up a vivid memory of something that was, at that time, painful. So why would you give your attention to things that cause pain?

If you think about the painful memory in life and you are actually concentrating on it, you are indulging in the luxury of pain, I think you yourself are to blame for it. Avoid thinking about the painful memories of life.

Some negative events can hold your attention. You perceive them to be a threat. Most people who ruminate on a negative past are simply unaware that they are doing it and there is no choice in the matter. Things you are unaware of are outside your control. Learning how to become aware of what you are paying attention to and how to shift your attention to something to make you feel better is one of the most powerful tools. This is for improving your emotional wellbeing.

Some people are in the pursuit of happiness. But they don’t know how to control their emotions. Some people want happiness but they don’t know what happiness is. Some people think happiness is all about having money and luxury. No. The nature of happiness differs from one person to another.

What we think and what we feel is determined by what we pay attention to. Not only do we have the ability to shift our attention away from painful things and give our attention to more pleasant thoughts or memories. As we do this, it inhibits our ability to think about the unpleasant painful things.

This happens because attention works on an activation/inhibition model: if you are paying attention to negative things it will almost take away the ability from you to think about the positive. You can either think negative or positive. You can’t be negative and positive at the same time. That’s why psychologists often say that people with depression see a more depressed world. The more you start to give your attention to things that feel good and start to see a more positive world, over time you will find yourself noticing fewer of the negatives in life.

Once you are aware you can do it, shifting your attention is something on which you can exert complete control. You can choose what you want to pay attention to and as a result, you can choose how you want to feel. For example, if you say to yourself, ‘I want to feel good today’ and you do not pay attention to negativity around you, you will feel better.

Try this with a friend: The next time you are talking to someone who is telling you about something negative happening to them, ask them to tell you about some positive experience instead. Then, notice the change in their facial expressions. When people start to talk about positive events that feel good, they start to smile; it is an almost involuntary reaction.

Does that sound too easy? Here is a tip that will make it even easier:

There are only two things in life that you can pay attention to that cause you to experience emotion: things you want and things you don’t want. Every single thing that you can think of that causes any type of significant emotion can be sorted into one of those two categories. Breakups, job loss, betrayal, the death of a loved one — all things you don’t want. Pets, best friends, birthday parties, getting a raise — all things you do want. You will always know when you are giving your attention to things that you don’t want in life; your emotions will tell you. Paying attention to things you don’t want generates negative emotions.

Sometimes we think about our past, we think about people that we did not want to associate with. We want to follow up with them, like what they are doing, what’s happening [in their life]? It’s painful, isn’t it? We should only pay attention to positive things in our life.

One of the most self-sabotaging things that people can give their attention to is an unwanted future.

Nothing in the future has actually happened, yet many people spend a good deal of their time experiencing negative emotions like anxiety, fear, and self-doubt because they are giving their attention to things they don’t want to occur. Doing this not only robs them of their present-moment happiness, but also prevents them from thinking about the positive experiences they could be creating in their future instead.

Our attention is the gateway to what we experience in life. Your attention is precious.

We should not give our attention to things or people who don’t deserve it rather they give us pain. You need to treasure your attention like it is something really unique. Your attention is your life. You cannot spend your life [focusing on the negative]. Your attention is very precious. Only apply your attentions to things that need your attention and it will be fruitful for you in life to put a smile on your face.

‘Learning to notice what you are paying attention to, and how to redirect your attention to things you want can change not only your current experience but also the life you create for yourself going forward.’ 

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 2: Are You Emotionally Aware?
15th April 2017|ArticlesLecturesVideos

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 2: Are You Emotionally Aware?

Editor’s note: the following is the second lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence. For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 1 here.

Spirituality is fundamentally the original knowledge of human beings; their existence, their functions and their beings. Senses, which are numbered as five in total, are related to the five souls in the human breast. It makes it really easy to understand that due to the fact that these five souls are enclosed in our bosoms, we have emotions and other senses. Animals do not have these senses.

The most common functions of the souls which are open to all souls, like emotions and empathy; sometimes, human beings who do not get to enlighten their souls have problems [with these functions]. They lose some of the senses because the souls are badly damaged or diseased with some evil ailments. Some people stop having empathy and sympathy for others; they stop feeling the pain of others. We know them as self-centred people.

What exactly happens when somebody has all the feelings of his or her pain but does not feel the pain of others? This is due to the fact that the souls responsible for upholding the sensory system of five senses are diseased and are now malfunctioning.

You must have seen people who may be easily regarded as stone-hearted or hard-hearted. You must have seen such people in your vicinity – at work, school and religious places. Something goes severely wrong when the souls inside the human chest go wrong. Malfunctioning of these souls result in having no empathy; people suffering from malfunctioning souls do not sympathise with anyone. They become egocentric, stone-hearted and blind to any compassion. These things can only be understood with the help of spirituality because they are to do with spirituality.

It is not the body which has the outburst of emotions. Emotions are a very spiritual, abstract thing. You don’t see them, but you can feel them.

We live in a very strange world; when somebody has emotions, we say, ‘This person is too emotional.’ Intelligence is part of emotional intelligence. If you don’t have emotions, you are an animal. Animals don’t have emotion because they don’t have the five souls in the breast. If you are a human being and still you don’t have emotions, it means your souls are severely diseased.

Emotional Intelligence

Most of the time, many people who are not spiritual are only concerned about their own emotions. They don’t care about others’ emotions. Whether it is their friends, spouse, father, brother or sister, they are not bothered.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. The mismanagement of emotions is extremely dangerous.

For example, if you spill a glass of water by mistake, you would forgive yourself without hesitation. You will not even say, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me.’ I don’t have to say it. However, if somebody else does it, you would say, ‘Oh my god, look at them!’ Things will go out of proportion. This is because, emotionally, you are not intelligent. You have problems with identifying the emotions and managing them. When you were able to remain quiet when you spilt water because you knew that you did it, why couldn’t you control your emotions when somebody else did it?

For example, some people, when their toddlers are crying, they give them chocolate. They know that it is not good for them, but they give it to them just because they want some peace. If somebody else was doing it, the same people would erupt in an outburst of emotions.

In the management of emotional intelligence, the first skill you must master is emotional awareness.

‘Emotional awareness is the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem-solving. It is the ability to manage your emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.’

For example, let’s say somebody does something wrong and by looking at his face, you see that he is full of emotions. He is so sorry; however, you don’t read it. You say, ‘He didn’t even say sorry.’ Look at his face! You are so blind and cannot read emotions of others. So, you are not emotionally aware.

If somebody’s face is all swollen, their eyes are red, they look sombre, gloomy and distressed – and still, you can’t read it, it means you lack awareness of emotions.

When somebody does something wrong, sometimes I make jokes with them. I learnt it from His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi. His Divine Eminence said, ‘When somebody does something wrong, give him more love so that he can correct himself.’

When you are happy, your body is so transparent, it cannot hide your emotions. Your face is so transparent it is like a revealing, see-through dress. The emotions are peeking out. When you are happy, your face is [bright]. When you are sad, your face will seem to have some swelling. When you are angry, your nostrils flare.

Emotions do not need a language. Emotions don’t need your permission. They will manifest before the world. They are self-expressive; they do not need extra help.

When there is an outburst of emotions, the emotions will manifest upon your face. The face will go to the backstage and emotions will come to the forefront.

When somebody does a favour to you and now it is your turn to be thankful to them, some people think by saying, ‘Thank you,’ they have done their job. You don’t see the emotions of gratefulness upon their faces. This is because they are emotionally dead. Some other people say, ‘Thank you,’ but with the emotions of hatred.

Appreciation is an exhibition of emotions, my friend. Appreciation doesn’t consist of words only.

In a similar way, when you are grateful to God, you say, ‘Thank God.’ When you are thankful to somebody, you need to express your emotions. That exhibition of emotions is the true form of appreciation. When somebody is doing a favour to you, it is natural to exhibit some emotions of gratefulness. Gratitude is not just two words, ‘thank you’.

In order to become a good human being, you must be emotionally intelligent.

Have you been in a situation where you see that some people are really disturbed and quiet, while others in the room are not bothered about their emotional state and are laughing and making jokes? I think this is a mark of a bad character.

When we see that somebody is upset, for any reason, we should respect his emotional attire, condition and the situation he may be in. We should give him space.

We should not make an environment where somebody feels, ‘Nobody is bothered. They are spiritually so dead, they cannot see my face. They cannot even see how sad I am and they’re just making jokes.’ This is also very important.

If we must [be jubilant, we should leave his presence first]. We can comfort him and say, ‘Everything will be okay, don’t worry.’ Words of comfort don’t mean anything, but it comes under mannerism.

Taking Criticism

Some people criticise you for the sake of criticism. Not a lot of people criticise you to reform you. Some people just try to boast themselves and put allegations on others. That is not true criticism.

If it is true criticism, you must reflect on your actions and deeds.

Then again, in the very first instance, you need to know whether the criticism is positive and coming from a fair-minded person, who doesn’t hold a grudge against you and who is not a habitual nagger.  Some people just use everything as an instrumental to disrespect, insult you and find flaws with you. Even if there are no flaws in you, they must find a flaw with you. They become oblivious about their own being; they are totally oblivious to who they are and how good or bad they are.

You must know when you are criticised, whether or not that criticism is positive. On the other hand, do not make this as an excuse [not to listen to the criticism] at the same time. Sometimes, you say, ‘I don’t care because it is not a positive criticism; let them say what they want,’ because you need an exit without guilt. You have to be pretty sure whether or not that person is a genuine critic. If that person is a genuine critic, then you must hear him out.

It is like a blessing if you have a positive critic around you. Then, in that case, you don’t have to work hard on correcting yourself. They will criticise you positively, then you will take note of what they are saying about you and you can correct yourself. A positive critic is the best of your mates.

Most of the time, we think our parents are positive critics, but sometimes they are overprotective. They are just exaggerating it most of the time. Then they say, ‘Who can be more positive than I am? I am your mother/father. Nobody can love you more than I can.’

Handling Setbacks Effectively

How do we learn to stay calm? First of all, we need to understand what exactly does the phrase ‘under pressure’ mean? You go under pressure when you know exactly what your problem is and then you get frustrated.

Sometimes you get frustrated when you fail and you don’t achieve your goal. That is when you are justified to be frustrated. You are allowed to be frustrated; however, you must fulfil the requirement of frustration.

There are two types of frustration: original and false. Frustration is justified when you know there is a problem and you have been working on it; nothing seems to work and then you are helpless, clueless and you don’t know how to resolve the problem. You have applied all your skills and energies and still, there is no result. This feeling is true frustration. But sometimes, you don’t even try [to fix the problem] and you impose frustration on you. That is false frustration! A lot of people fall prey to false frustration.

Some other people who are not connected to God, who are not spiritual, what will they do? They will simply go to the church or temple and say, ‘God help me!’ God will never help them and this will only add to their frustration.

In our case, when we are helpless, we should not be frustrated. When we feel helpless, we always turn to His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi. Some people don’t even try to solve the problem. They skip this stage and go straight to asking for His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi’s help. That is wrong. Don’t do that. Try to fix the problem first with all the skills and energies you have.

His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi’s help will definitely come when you are genuinely helpless.

Why should HDE Gohar Shahi help you when you are able to resolve the problem yourself?

But we have become habitual of doing this. If anything goes wrong, we immediately say, ‘HDE Gohar Shahi, help me; Jesus, help me.’ Jesus will not help you because you are not a genuine seeker. Your quest for help is not genuine.

Only pray to God for help when you cannot help yourself.

In fake frustration, you are never helped out and you lose trust in God. You don’t make an effort and you call upon God to help you. Obviously, God will not help you because your frustration is not genuine. As a result, you become depressed and lose trust in God. This is so dangerous. So make sure your frustration is original frustration.

God helps those who want to help themselves. That will happen when you have tried everything and now you are genuinely helpless; you are lost and do not know what to do. Then comes the Lord’s help. Maybe before you even say, ‘HDE Gohar Shahi, help me,’ HDE Gohar Shahi will help you.

There is no room for frustration in a spiritual person’s life because frustration is a condition where you are helpless and there is nobody to help you.

A disciple of HDE Gohar Shahi and those who are actually connected to Jesus can never be truly frustrated because they are not helpless. So we have to remove this word frustration from our life, practically. There is no room for you to have frustration in your life. You must abide by this. Frustration comes when you become completely helpless and HDE Gohar Shahi is our Lord, we are not unattended for.

This is the answer to handling setbacks effectively. Try your best. God doesn’t like it that there is a problem and you’re not making an effort to resolve it. God will never help you like that. Make as much effort as it is required. Even after everything you have done to resolve the problem, there is no result and you are clueless and feel helpless, then call upon HDE Gohar Shahi. I guarantee that you will be helped straight away. When the Lord’s help arrives, there is jubilance, not frustration.

Controlling Emotions and Problem-Solving

There are two skills involved in emotional awareness: the ability to identify your emotions and ability to identify others’ emotions.

When somebody is injured, you bring out a First Aid kit. In a similar way, if somebody is sad and under the outburst of emotions, you should try to comfort him and harness his emotions. Make sure that his emotions do not become overwhelmed. If your emotions become overwhelmed, you will push yourself into the depth of depression. If you are there and you see somebody is under some kind of emotional state, you should have the expertise of controlling and making use of those emotions in solving problems.

If somebody is sad and you also go there and you tell them stories which will increase in their sadness, then this is backfiring. You should comfort them in a way that it appears to be genuine to them. Tell them, ‘Don’t lose hope in God. God will help you. Bad days do not stay forever like good days do not stay forever.’ Give them a practical approach in order to solve their problems. Don’t give them false hope, but at the same time, give them calculated hope.

The same thing goes for yourself. When you are emotionally down, you don’t want to talk to people. This is bad because you are shutting the door on any help that might come to you.

Some people seek isolation when they are emotionally down. That is not going to solve the problem. If you have a problem, find a practical solution. You have to make efforts. When some others have a problem, they become hostile to everybody. You must manifest humility and modesty at all times. If you think that you’re the only one in the world who has a problem, you are severely mistaken. Every single person in this world is laden with trouble; but the thing is, everybody thinks his pain is greater than everybody else’s.

Do not seek isolation when you are emotionally down. When you seek isolation and you are emotionally down, the chances are that you are pushing yourself into a deep depression. If you are sad, seek a solution. Always leave a door open for someone to come and help you.

Keep your head cool so that you can solve the problem. Don’t become unreasonable. Tell yourself, ‘It is not the end of the world. I will find a solution.’ Sit down and find a practical solution.

If you cannot help yourself, nobody will care about your life. If you don’t want to help yourself, why would the world help you?

When you are helping yourself, then foreign aid will come. However, you should be the first one to help you.

How do you keep cool? If you have a problem, think about how to solve it. Calculate. After your calculations, you know what to do. When you know that something can be achieved, keep cool. You should be worried when you know it cannot be done. There is no problem that cannot be solved!

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 1: How Thoughts & Emotions Impact Behaviour
11th April 2017|ArticlesLecturesVideos

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 1: How Thoughts & Emotions Impact Behaviour

The full lecture is available in English language on the AlRa Tv YouTube Channel. Press the play button above to watch the video.

Editor’s note: the following is the first lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence. For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald.

Human psychology is very sensitive. Emotions (both positive and negative) and our reaction to different things are very complicated. Whether it is love or hatred, generosity or stinginess, holding grudges or forgiving people, it is all about emotions. Emotions play a very pivotal role in our life.

Not enough has been discussed in the spiritual circles about human behaviour and emotions. However, everything is revolving around emotions.

Emotions are, oftentimes, a set of reactions to things. Whether you are being grateful to God or you’re being thankful to your fellow men; whether you’re unhappy with yourself, with your fellow men or with God; it is all reaction.

You will see people with positive and negative reactions. Some people are more likely to exhibit positive emotions. Some others tend to be very economical with exhibiting positive emotions.

Negative emotions come from the negative source in you. Positive emotions will come from an enlightened heart and a conscious soul.

Sometimes, you will see people with only negative reactions and emotions. You’ll wonder why such people only exhibit negative emotions, and why their reaction is oftentimes more severe than expectations. This is all human psychology. Our brain is the centre point where everything is cooked.

Some people spend 16-18 years in school, college and university. They become discerning, learned individuals. They think they know everything, but that is foolish. There is so much knowledge. There is so much to know about so many things in your life, that you can never learn enough to understand everything.

Psychology on its own will tell you nothing. With just psychology, you will become a sophisticated mind with a lot of unresolved, mysterious stories in your brain.

I have noticed one thing as a spiritual person: that in every field of different types of knowledge if spirituality is not present, that knowledge is useless.

For example, psychology is the study of human behaviour, but it doesn’t tell you what it is that human behaviour depends on. It doesn’t tell you how human behaviour becomes positive and how it turns negative. Psychology is all about human behaviour but it doesn’t tell you the source; it doesn’t tell you how to manoeuvre your emotions.

Emotions are like a tennis ball that you throw at the wall and it rebounds back to you. Sometimes, somebody will say something you don’t understand; you’ll derive a desired meaning out of what they said and get angry. When you get angry, there will be an outburst of unclassified emotions.

So in that case, the action will be taking place inside your brain and the reaction will also be taking place inside your brain. You’ll be the sole creator of the mess you cooked in your mind.

What happens when somebody is not sound by mind? Oftentimes, unruffled, undisturbed peace surrounds him; even then, there is an unsolicited reaction. He’ll just be sitting in solitude and sometimes he’ll cry. Other times, he’ll smile. When you ask him what happened, he will say, ‘Nothing.’ What is it then?

You’ll be thinking about something nice and that nice thought will have a rebound. There will be a reaction: you will feel happy. This is self-acquired happiness. Then you will think of something really horrible and have all sorts of ideas. [You’ll draw conclusions based on your own estimation]. This is how you manipulate your brain.

Some people have a habit of thinking too much. If you wear a jacket every day, it will wear out very soon. If you use your tongue a lot, it will wear out one day. Then after that, anything that comes from your mouth will be nonsense. In a similar way, there is a gateway between the conscious mind and subconscious mind which is opened when you overload your brain. You won’t even know who is coming and going. Thoughts will be coming like rain from the subconscious mind. You won’t even be thinking about something, but the thoughts will be coming.

When you experience something and you think it is of less importance, then it goes into your subconscious mind. You only remember things which are in your conscious mind. However, sometimes, when you’re overloading your brain, the gateway between the subconscious and conscious mind is opened. Then you begin to remember the things stored in your subconscious. [And you become confused].

For example, something happened last week that you forgot because you thought it was of less importance. It was stored in your subconscious mind. Now, because you are [putting a lot of pressure on your mind], those thoughts are now coming into your conscious mind from the subconscious. You’re not aware of the source. You didn’t think about it, but you saw it happening somewhere.

The IQ and EQ Level

The IQ (intelligence quotient) level is all about putting every piece of information in your conscious mind. For example, you walked through a street. When you walked through the street, what did you see and did you think about it? That is what your IQ level will be judged upon.

For example, where I am sitting, there is a laptop, laptop case, bag, bottle of water, juice, glasses, phone, small fan, light and wall socket.

If you pay attention, every piece of information will go into your conscious mind. If you don’t pay attention, it will go into your subconscious mind. As result, your IQ level will go down.

It is like you have £100 in £20 and £10 notes and you only pay attention to the £20 notes because £10 notes are of less importance to you. You’ll put the £20 notes somewhere safe; you’ll put the £10 notes in your pocket and you won’t notice that they are falling out.

To improve your IQ level, when you look at something, pay attention. When you pay attention, that information will be stored in your conscious mind.

For example, you walked through a hallway and didn’t notice the glass of water on the side. If someone says, ‘There is a glass here,’ you’ll say, ‘Where? I didn’t see it.’ You saw it, but you didn’t pay attention, that is why it is not in your mind. Some people are so confused; they can see the glass, but there is no coordination between their mind and their eyes.

The IQ level is all about storing every piece of information in your conscious mind. You can ignore things, but your eyes can’t.

Your eyes are cameras. If you keep your camera on, it will keep showing pictures and images, whether or not you want to see them. In a similar way, your eyes and ears record every image and every word. Thoughts, things – anything you notice and hear – if it is done with attention, it is stored in your conscious mind and improves your IQ level.

This is what I am telling you; you won’t find it in psychology books. The IQ level, when not accompanied by the EQ (emotional quotient) level, is zero.

If you see someone beautiful and don’t show emotions, you [are not mentally sound]. If I see a beautiful woman walking, if both my IQ and EQ levels are good and I’m not religious, I must say, ‘Wow, beautiful.’ This will mean I have a healthy brain.

In order to improve your IQ level, you have to work on your EQ level. You become ill mentally when your IQ level lacks emotional intelligence. Show emotions!

If you see something and there is no reaction, you’re suppressing your soul!

For example, a room is messy and stinking, but you will see someone sleeping there because he lacks emotional intelligence. His emotional sensory system is not responding to the fact that the room is dirty. This means that there is something wrong with his emotional sensory system.  He will see that somebody is handsome and beautiful, but he won’t care. This is a mental disorder.

Another scenario is if something has fallen on the ground in a restaurant kitchen. All the workers, rather than picking up the fallen object, prefer to step over it and be on their way. This is because their brains are not working properly. They become naive to everything and are not aware of the intelligence of emotions. This is why they have turned into cabbages.

If a human being doesn’t have emotions, in my eyes, there is no difference between them and a cabbage.

So the IQ level is all about the EQ level. It is about emotional discipline. When there is something that should awaken your senses, and still your senses are not awakened, then you are emotionally dead.

When your emotions are dead and your brain is not responding, you cannot obtain divine love. It is impossible.

When your senses are not even responding to tiny things like the room being dirty, it is not that you don’t care; your senses are not awakened. If something is lying on the floor and your mind is not telling you to pick it up and put it to the side, there is something wrong in your mind. This is a mental illness. Some people think, ‘Why should I do it?’ That is also a mental illness. Maybe tomorrow, you will say, ‘I need to use the toilet, but why should I do it?’

Giving Yourself Peace of Mind

You’re sitting and with a bird’s eye view, you have seen everything. Your eyes have stored all the images. Sometimes, we just see things without [hearing them]. Our eyes record those images and they go into the back of our mind, stored in the subconscious. Oftentimes, when those images reappear before our eyes, we wonder what it was. Your eyes have stored the images but you didn’t pay attention, this is why the information is incomplete. This is why your thoughts are ruffled and disturbed.

When you are somewhere, in order to have a healthy mind, you must see things with attention. If you don’t pay attention, this image which is stored in your subconscious mind will not have enough information and then it will trouble you later on.

At home, if somebody knocks on the door, I ask, ‘Who is it?’ I am not bothered about who comes and goes, but I need to know. This is because if somebody was knocking on the door but I don’t know who it was, this thought that somebody came and knocked on the door will be stored in my subconscious. It will bother me later on.

When things are incomplete and they transfer themselves from the subconscious mind onto the conscious mind, they create doubts.

Be careful: your eyes are like spy cameras. Everything is being stored. You want to make sure that everything being stored by your sensory system is not incomplete. Pay attention so that every piece of information is complete. When there is full information, your mind will be healthy. You will never be under any delusion or have any doubts.

Oftentimes, when people close to me are annoyed and irritated, I want to know why. I cannot feed my brain with incomplete knowledge. This is important for me. For example, if  you leave your phone at home at 3 AM, you’re walking alone and you don’t tell anybody where you’ve gone or why, [this will disturb me]. This is the inquisitiveness of my mind. I have trained my mind not to store anything incomplete. I need to know the reason. Right or wrong, I don’t care. I’m only concerned that when this information is stored in the back of my mind, it is not incomplete.

You need to be careful. Everything is being stored. What you need to do now is, whatever is being stored should be stored along with relevant information. If the information stored in your mind is incomplete, your IQ level will go down. IQ level is judged by what you have in your conscious mind and how much your conscious mind is affected by your subconscious mind. When you know everything which is being stored, this information will never go into the subconscious mind because it is not useless. The more information is stored in your conscious mind, the more intelligent you are.

In Conclusion

The relation between emotions and intelligence: the ability to identify something is intelligence, to react is emotions!

Some people make a mountain out of a molehill when they have pain. When somebody else has pain, they think, ‘It is none of my business.’ Such people are emotionally dead.

This is the initial introduction to the type of psychology I am imposing on you. This will go on for seven days. I bet after the completion of Self-Awareness Level 2, you will think you are a saint because you will stand on a street and you will know everything. You will know why people are doing what they are doing. This is IQ and it is accompanied by EQ level.

You cannot be an intelligent man if your emotional sensory system is dead.

If the room is stinking and you are comfortable, you are a cabbage. You are unresponsive. When you are sitting somewhere, your eyes are storing all the images and you’re not paying attention to it. You’re completely ignoring their existence. This is where your IQ level goes down.

It doesn’t take too long. Wherever you’re sitting, you can see things; just pay a little attention and complete the information.

For example, I need a glass and there is a glass nearby but because I didn’t pay attention, the image of the glass is in my subconscious mind, but the information is incomplete. Then I’ll ask someone to bring me a glass and they’ll say, ‘It is there.’ This sort of thing happens many times with so many people, but why?

We simply say, ‘They have an absent mind.’ What is absent? The mind is not absent; the information is absent in the mind.

In Self-Awareness Level 2, we will deal with IQ and EQ. Then comes higher awareness: awareness of God in you. Now we’re talking about awareness of you in you; in the third level, we will all talk about God and his presence inside you. Who is behind the scenes working in you? Level 3 will help you know who is inside you – God or the Devil – and how to detect it.

Self-Awareness Level 2 will go on for seven days. I guarantee you that after these seven days, you will have a lot more understanding of life and a lot more confidence.

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Self-Awareness: A Blessing in Disguise
10th February 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness: A Blessing in Disguise

Self-Awareness: A Blessing in Disguise

The awareness of who you are is very important. If you have been accepted by God and have been awarded God’s love, then you will be granted a kind of special awareness. That awareness is not about God; that awareness will be about you: who you are.

When God is displeased and angry with you, he deprives you of self-awareness. What a darkness it is that you know everything but yourself!

Those who are granted awareness of themselves become very humble.

There is a self-humiliation process within yourself. When the mirror of your heart is polished well, then your ego reflects on it. It shows you constantly how ugly your ego is. You will be under the impression at all times that God is not happy with you.

Those who are misled and misguided are always under the blanket of this impression that they’re the best and very holy. If you think you are holy, then there is a problem with your mind and heart.

Along with educating the minds of children, [we] should also educate their hearts. When their hearts are educated, they will be better people on Earth. With a better mind, you become a better engineer or doctor. However, without the education of the heart, you’re evil like Hitler.

Awareness is very important, but there is no college out there where you learn awareness of yourself. This process starts within yourself the more your heart is enlightened, the more your self is mortified and the closer you get to God. You need to be so close to God [in such a way where] you can’t be closer to God anymore. Then he will give you the awareness of you.

Everyone, whether they practise a religion or they don’t, thinks they are the best. They believe that they know everything. They say such things because they don’t have awareness.

This is why I said long ago, ‘Self-exploration is divine exploration. Self-awareness is divine awareness.’ This is very important: the awareness of you to you.

What a pity it is that people can know who you are, but you do not know who you are!

Hadith-e-Qudsi (Sacred Tradition):

When God chooses somebody to be successful in their efforts in pleasing God, then God causes them to find flaws within themselves.

This means you know you are bad. If you know you are bad, God loves you. If God doesn’t love you, you will never know you are bad.

There are so many examples of people not wanting to admit that they are bad. This is because they lack God’s willingness. When God wants you to be successful in your efforts in pleasing God, then he causes you to be aware of yourself.

This article was originally posted on Younus AlGohar’s Medium page.

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About the Author
Younus AlGohar is the Representative of the Awaited One Lord Ra Riaz Gohar Shahi and CEO of Messiah Foundation International. He has been recognised as an Ambassador of Peace and Man of Valour. He is an advocate of divine love and interfaith harmony.
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New Video: 12 Aima-e-Karam Aur Un Ke Batni Maratib | By Younus AlGohar

#AskYounusAlGohar - The 11 Imams have come and gone, who were the following spiritual dignitaries and who is the 12th Imam?

Younus AlGohar gives the chronological order of the spiritual system of Imam-hood and the enlightened progeny of Prophet Mohammad.

Main Points:

- The enlightened progeny of Prophet Mohammad carried on for 7 generations. From the 1st generation to the 7th, as they continued to marry into unenlightened people, the divine light remained albeit decreased. The 8th generation was completely void of Divine Light.

- There have been 11 Imams from the enlightened progeny. They all had two types of duties: physical and spiritual. The physical ranks of all the 11 Imams was given to the 12th Imam, Imam Abu Hanifa. And the spiritual ranks were reserved for Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jilani.

- Imam Abu Hanifa was titled Imam-e-Azam because of all the physical ranks he attained. And Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jilani was titled Ghous-e-Azam because of all the spiritual ranks he attained.

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