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How Emotions Shape Up Complexes
12th June 2017|LecturesVideos

How Emotions Shape Up Complexes

Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence, Lesson 4:

How many human beings out of millions of people out there want to study themselves, want to study how emotions value themselves in our life; how emotionally do we go wrong and how our own emotions play with us and our mind? Due to the fact that we don’t have enough knowledge of our own self [and others around us], we never get to know our own emotions and feelings, the right conduct that we must carry; our demeanour, boundaries, our liberties and then liberties and boundaries of others. We take it for granted.

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour
21st May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 6: Pattern of Human Behaviour

Editor’s note: the following is the sixth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 5 here

Step 1 – Controlling Emotions

The objective of studying emotional intelligence is to obtain the ability to acquire control over the emotions.

Sometimes, the pain we feel is so much that we are emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes we are able to control our overwhelming emotions. Other times, we give into the flow and that is when we suffer the most. In such a situation, we should not let go of ourselves; we should be able to control our emotions.

Perhaps this is what patience is. Some people mix patience with forbearance, but the ability to control your emotions is patience. There is a significant difference between patience and forbearance. Forbearance is for physical pain and suffering, whereas patience is to do with the ability to control your emotions – to put your foot down and not let go of yourself.

Controlling emotions is very close in meaning to a Sufi term known as ‘Zarf’, which means great endurance.

Endurance is like durability.  For example, there are different kinds of suitcases on the market: Atelier, American Tourister, Samsonite, Delsey, Tommy, Rivera and Rimowa. They are made with different fibres, materials and matter. The most durable material will be sold at the most expensive price. How do we assess the durability? Durability is assessed by applying pressure and power to see how much the material can endure. Some materials that they make suitcases with will break easily while some others are really durable.

If it is a material and it is not easy to break, it is called durability. If it is a human being who can take any amount of pressure, doesn’t crack under pressure and survives, that is called endurance. Durability and endurance are brother and sister, so to speak.

Are Your Prayers Being Answered?

Emotions, when they are overwhelmingly excessive, behave like alcohol.

Some people are so affected by their emotions that if you check their pulse and blood pressure when they are emotionally charged up, the reading will be the same as if they were drunk. Any news – whether it is extremely good or extremely bad – will run shockwaves through their bodies.

Especially in Pakistan, when people go to apply for a visa to a western country, their hearts run like horses. Even if they don’t believe in God, at that moment in time God is very much in demand; he serves as an agent. To some people, the religious stuff works miracles. This is all cogitation. Whether or not God helps you, you have this imagination to hold onto when you believe in God.

We human beings are so ‘good’, we pray to God when we are in adversity. We call upon God when in need. There is a momentary soothing effect when you pray to God, even though you know, deep down in your heart, that God isn’t going to answer. It is just a mind game.

A prayer has a very soothing effect. This is why intelligent people suffer more because they don’t believe in God.

How many people are religious? The majority of people who practise a religion are not from well-to-do families and not opulent. They are those who have to go to the worship places to pray to God for a loaf of bread. Obviously, they will get a loaf of bread from here or there. Someone will come and even if he doesn’t believe in God, he will feel pity for them and give them a loaf of bread. Then the [religious man] will say, ‘Oh look, God heard my prayers. I was hungry; somebody came and fed me.’

This is the pattern of our behaviour. You will never appreciate the efforts of the person who helped you, but thankfulness from you will go to God. Human beings will do us a favour but we will never appreciate their favour. Instead of saying ‘Thank you,’ to the people who help us, we will say, ‘God, you have been so nice to me,’ and God does not know a thing about what is going on.

These religious people, at the time of adversity, find their solace in prayers and worship. However, when they are happy, how will they control their emotions now? When religious people are happy, they forget God. They only remember him at the time of need.

At the time of adversity, you can control your emotions through prayer, meditation, yoga and various different things. However, some people take the world by storm when they are happy. The way they behave when they’re extraordinarily happy, it is like they’re drunk. They lose their intelligence.

Step 2- Making Use of Emotions

Emotional intelligence is the ability to control and make use of your emotions. Controlling emotions is understandable, but what is making use of emotions?

When some people are emotionally charged up, you can convince them to give you donations. When they are not emotionally charged up, you tell them a thousand stories related to God, but they will never give you any donations. It is really bad to take advantage of somebody’s emotional state, however, as long as you are not ripping their pockets off and convincing them to contribute to a good cause, it is okay. When they are emotionally charged up, their emotions will make them do it. This is perhaps where the proverb comes from, ‘strike while the iron is still hot.’

In the moment when somebody is emotionally charged up and you give him His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi’s message of love, those emotions will help him understand your mission and message.

When I was in Pakistan, I had a friend and I would tell him about HDE Gohar Shahi every day. He would always turn a deaf ear on me. But then one day, when his father died, we went to the graveyard for the burial. He buried his father and we were sitting there. He was telling me, ‘Everyone has to die one day.’ Then, I told him about HDE Gohar Shahi. I was really shocked: he was listening to me very carefully. I thought he was just winding me up and maybe in another minute he would stand up and say, ‘Look, I made a fool out of you.’ But no, we spent a good one hour there. He was crying and telling me, ‘You’re right.’ Then we went to HDE Gohar Shahi and he was granted Opening of the Spiritual Heart.

I always wondered why he never understood the message before, but after his father died, it was like he was waiting for it. The difference was, when his father died and he was in the graveyard, he was overwhelmed with emotions. You need to see which emotion goes with what message.

God, somehow or other, is attached with suffering, starvation and a sense of deprivation. When you are in the spiritual and emotional vicinity of pain and suffering, then comes the message of God. People are looking for solace and comfort. Nothing is more comforting than something that can secure your future, especially if you are standing in a graveyard.

Now at this stage, controlling your emotions is Step 1. Step 2 is the ability to make use of those emotions. Some people who are evil will obviously make a bad use of your emotions.

You have to guard your emotions like you guard your virginity. Anybody can come and tell you a story; you shouldn’t expose your emotions to people.

You cannot take advantage of somebody’s emotions. You only use it for a good purpose. Making use of emotions is only allowed for the other person’s goodness, not your own goodness. But cunning people do the opposite. When they see somebody is emotional, they will come and sell them a story, fill their own pockets and run away. This is why emotional intelligence is very important in life.

We have discussed emotional intelligence and also the awareness of emotional intelligence so that If somebody is in an emotional state, we can respect their emotions and then how to help them control their emotions.

Some people are very vulnerable and when they are overwhelmed with emotions, they cannot control their emotions. But what are friends for? If you have a friend who is going through such an emotional crisis phase in his life, it is your moral obligation to go and fix his emotional problems and help him control his emotions. Maybe they don’t know how to control their emotions; they may get carried away in those emotions and cause great harm. If they cannot control their emotions, as a friend, you should be volunteering yourself in controlling their emotions and making sure nobody makes use of their emotions.

When you are angry, in the heat of the moment, you say silly things that you don’t mean. Similarly, when you are in an emotional state, the world looks different, everything looks different. In normal life, you will see that there are many hurdles but when you are emotionally charged up, you will see no boundaries. You think you can do anything.

Intelligence does not work when you are emotionally charged up. I personally believe that you have to be more emotionally intelligent than this mental intelligence. Emotions are so powerful; they supersede all your intellect. Emotions can screw up your intellect any time and make your head empty of intellect.

If you have £100 and you see people are starving and suffering, you’ll give it all away in an emotional state. When you come back home, you will only blame yourself. You will say, ‘Why did I do that?’ If you do this in spirituality, it is not allowed. What is not allowed in spirituality? That you were emotionally overwhelmed and saw somebody starving and in need, you gave him or her all your money and when you came home, you now regret it.

It is not allowed in spirituality to do a good thing and regret it later on.

You should measure your goodness and charity and always keep emotional and intellectual intelligence intact.

‘I think I should give him £20, and then I will be left with £30. I can easily manage one week with £30.’ Now you will not regret it. But if you donate £100 and you only had £100, then that was a one-off charity. You will never do that charity again in your life.

Sometimes, emotions can really misguide you. Emotions should be intact with intellectualism. If the intellect is separated from emotions, you are in trouble.

My father used to say, ‘Do not be too sweet or people will swallow you. Do not be too bitter or people will spit you out [Urdu Proverb].’ We have to stay in the middle.

Every human being should be emotionally intelligent and you will only do certain things when you are emotionally intelligent.

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 5: Where Your Moral Values Come From
14th May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 5: Where Your Moral Values Come From

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 5: Where Your Moral Values Come From

Editor’s note: the following is the fifth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 4 here.

How Emotional Intelligence Affects Every Aspect of Life

When a singer is singing a sad song, he has to feel the pain the words delivered in the song. Happy or humourous songs also have to be sung with emotions; they call it the feeling. In a similar way, when we listen to the news like Sky News, BBC News, CNN etc., we see emotions are involved in the way the newscaster delivers the news. If the news is sad, we see emotions of sadness and sorrow emanating from his face and if it’s good news, he will smile. Now, a doctor’s job is really difficult because every patient that comes to see him brings bad news. The doctor has to be in the same mood, or at least the same emotional state (even if it is fake, he has to show that emotionally he is aware of the situation), and this is emotional intelligence.

What are moral etiquettes? If somebody tells us, ‘my mother died five years ago’, in that moment if we skip saying ‘I am really sorry’, people will be really offended. We need to be aware of these things and have some moral etiquettes, some emotional intelligence and its awareness.

Emotions play a pivotal role in our life. For example, if you see a child who needs milk but his/her parents are unable to provide milk, it will remind you of your own child. When you think about your own child, your emotions will be charged up. In that emotional state, you start to help the child that doesn’t belong to you.

We’re only concerned about ourselves. This should not be the case with a spiritual person. We must observe all spiritual, social and moral etiquettes, so that we do not cause any harm, physical or emotional, to any individual in this world. If somebody looks a bit sad or emotionally down, you should respect his emotional state. Change the way you speak to him every day, be a little more polite with him. This is emotional intelligence. 

Emotional Intelligence Crisis

Emotions push you to do good things, however, at the same time, these emotions can backfire.

For example, some Muslims blew up a bomb and many people died. Later on, a Muslim guy is seen showing his anger to somebody in a neighbourhood, somebody watching him may be reminded of the Muslim terrorists, and his emotions will reach their peak. Maybe in that emotional state, that man [watching] can cause any amount of harm to that Muslim guy who is shouting and abusing others. This is how people become outrageous sometimes. Backlashes and hate crimes are the prime examples.


A Kurdish boy was beaten up badly by eight people. He didn’t do anything wrong, he was just Muslim but this happened because so many Muslim terrorists are causing a lot of distress and have become a threat to the national security of many countries of the world. This has become a very sensitive matter and it can happen anytime, anywhere and it is all to do with emotions.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist. Sikhs – because they grow beards and wear turbans like Muslims – are easily recognisable to Muslims; they can identify them as Sikhs because their turban is different and by the length of their beard, etc. But after 9/11 in Arizona, the Americans who were naive to Islam or Sikhism, when they spotted somebody with a turban and a big beard, they thought the Sikh man was Muslim and killed him. This is an emotional intelligence crisis.

To help stop terrorism, it is not just about deradicalisation, you also have to take care of the emotional intelligence of people so that people do not become outrageous and are able to control their own emotions.

Moral and Societal Values

One important thing in the study of emotional intelligence is moral values and ethical codes.

Morality in this world has different shapes, forms and sources. Some people find moral values from their society. In our society, certain things are allowed and some things are not allowed. For example, in a British town, the societal values will definitely differ from a Pakistani town.

Sometimes the society is deeply and vehemently affected by the religion of the land and its code of conduct; its ethical code and moral values come from the religion. In Pakistan, a woman and a man cannot have a sexual relationship without marriage but in a British town, with consent, adults can enter into a sexual relationship and can even live together. Society here will allow it because it is not against the moral values of British society.

Moral values differ from society to society, because each society has a different source for its moral values. However, sometimes your moral values come neither from any religion nor the society. Sometimes you are the boss and make your own rules. I have heard people saying, ‘In my family, nobody can do this. This is against our family law and tradition.’  Therefore, there is not just one single source of morality.

In order to have precise understanding and awareness of emotional intelligence, we need to first see what moral values we have adopted. Only after determining the source of our moral values can we detect the awareness of emotional intelligence.

You need to find the source. What is it that dictates your emotions? What is it that brings rage and fury in your emotional state? It is your belief system.

Those who are religious, are very difficult and it is very difficult for them to be emotionally intelligent. They are swimming in the ocean of their religion; their mind is messed up. It’s not possible for somebody to be religious and rational at the same time. Religions will always make you irrational.

For example, Muslims in Luton, are carrying banners and saying, ‘we will impose Sharia.’ They’re looking at white women and saying, ‘your dress is not according to Islam.’ She doesn’t practise Islam! Why are you telling her? It is your religion, why are you imposing your religion on others? It simply means your mind is messed up. It is not rationality, is it? But this is the reality. Does a Christian have the same rights in a Muslim country as Muslims have in the west? Muslims are allowed to build their mosques here. Can a Christian man go to Saudi Arabia and do whatever he wants to do according to his religion?

Look at how good this secular system is! You know why they do it? It’s because their mind is not messed up. If people in the west were also very religious, practising Christians, they would behave the same way. But because they are non-practising Christians, their mind is not messed up by the religion hence they behave like human beings. They have generosity, rationality and their own moral codes. Their moral code is: whatever religion somebody practises, they should have the fundamental necessities of life.

Why should we follow a religion when a religion is taking away humanity from human beings?  Why do we have this fanatic ideology uprising? Why do we have this extremism spreading like fire? Why is hatred prevailing? Because there is a conflict in morality. The standards you may have, the other person does not have the same standards of moral values.

Your emotional intelligence is directly linked to moral values. Unfortunately, moral values in different societies have different sources therefore what may be a moral act according to you may not be moral to somebody else.

When we talk about morality, our morality is not universal. Our morality is more regional than global. We all have different standards of morality.

Now according to some form of morality, you only hide your private parts. If you are hiding the nipples, your morality is perfect. In most of the secular, moral cultures, women are not allowed to show their nipples, it would be too obscene and immoral. According to liberal Muslims, women can show half their chest. They have accepted it and it has become part of their moral values. Moral values are changing according to secular culture. According to religious culture, moral values are frozen; they have become stagnant. Even the law of the land can shape your moral values. When you are a religious person and your moral values come from religion you do not recognise any other form of morality, which obviously means intolerance is at its peak. You cannot coexist with others in the same society.

Universal morality has to do with tolerance. What you like to do, you should be allowed to do. What others like to do, you shouldn’t be bothered about it.

What is a sin? There are two forms of sins according to a religion. A sin which goes against humanity, you hurt and harm humanity and the other sin which goes against you, which hurts and harms you. Those that hurt and harm you are of less implication. A sin that involves others, causes pain, hurt and harm to others, that is severity. That is to be stopped.

Do not try to impose your beliefs on others. Let everybody live their life the way they want to live it.

Emotional Intelligence and God

When God has emotional intelligence, then why don’t  people who follow a religion have it?

The reason is God doesn’t follow the same religion. God’s religion is different. His religion is love. The problem is, he only practises his religion with those that practise his religion: The religion of love. 

These religions that have been established by prophets and messengers, the standard of morality these religions render to its followers very much depends on the society at the time these religions were established. What was the standard of religious morality in those times when Prophet Mohammad came to the peninsula of Arab? What was the standard of morality at the time when Jesus came to Jerusalem? You will see a slight improvement in the standard of morality after the religion introduced its moral values. If you want to compare the standards of morality now with the standards back then, you will fall back. The standard of morality in those days was really strict. This was about the religion and followers of the religions.

However in all eras, in all ages, whoever was introduced to the knowledge of spirituality, the knowledge of eminence, their emotional intelligence equalled the intelligence of God. They didn’t pick up their moral values from the religion, they picked it up from spirituality. The standard of spiritual values is vast. They embrace and forgive anyone. Most of the irregular things in this world according to moral values are okay for Sufis. No damage is done. You can do what you want to do as long as you don’t hurt others. 

This should be the case with everybody today. Allow everybody to do what they want to do. There is a voice within everybody that guides them and tells them not to do wrong, no matter what religion they practise. Even atheists who don’t practise any religion or believe in God, do not want to sleep with their sisters or mothers. Why don’t they do it?  Because these are basic principles and natural human instincts.

Let our moral values derive from the basic principles of humanity.

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Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 4: Optimising Your IQ
5th May 2017|Articles

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 4: Optimising Your IQ

Self-Awareness Level 2, Lesson 4: Optimising Your IQ

Editor’s note: the following is the fourth lesson in Younus AlGohar’s course on Self-Awareness, Level 2: Emotional Intelligence.

For better background information, read Self-Awareness, Level 1, in the Messiah Herald. 

Read Self-Awareness, Level 2, Lesson 3 here.

How many human beings out of millions of people out there want to study themselves, want to study how emotions value themselves in our life; how emotionally do we go wrong and how our own emotions play with us and our mind? Due to the fact that we don’t have enough knowledge of our own self [and others around us], we never get to know our own emotions and feelings, the right conduct that we must carry; our demeanour, boundaries, our liberties and then liberties and boundaries of others. We take it for granted.

Our life is messed up because don’t know anything about ourselves. We don’t know how emotions work. We don’t know how emotionally we are charged up, and sometimes feeling very lowly emotionally. The discerning experts on this subject lack a lot in what they describe as emotional intelligence. The description of emotional intelligence that I put forward in front of you is not based on what people study in the universities. My discourses on these subjects come from a divine source: His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi.

Emotions are like untamed vibes or they are waves of the ocean. Emotions move our entire being from one point to another. We are just going with the flow. With the ups and downs of emotions. We have no control. Although we say to ourselves ‘I am a very strong man’, but our strength is only deceptive. We are just fooling ourselves.

Emotional Complexes

When emotions hit you, no matter how strong you are, you will cry like a baby. You do not want to get entrapped in any of the emotional complexes.

There are mainly two complexes: a complex of being superior and a complex of being inferior.

Now the question is why do some people suffer from a superiority complex and others from an inferiority complex? Psychology doesn’t have the answer to this. But those who have a very strong ego, more often, they are the ones who get entrapped by the complex of superiority.

We are going to see how our emotions shape up to form a complex. A complex is a set of more than one thing. Our emotions: feelings of joy when we achieve something, feelings of sorrow and sadness when we fail. Some people when they fail, they don’t simply have feelings of sorrow; they have this strange feeling of rejection. If they fail again, the emotional trauma that they go through doubles the pain and sorrow. When they fail for the third time, all the pain, all the sadness, sorrow and the feelings of rejection get muddled up and form a complex. This complex, oftentimes, is duly aided by depression.

Those who suffer from superiority complex – don’t think they are always happy, they’re not happy. Their superiority depends on phraseology only. They are just chatterboxes. When they speak they’ll say they’re better than you, but inside they know they’re messed up.

His Divine Eminence Gohar Shahi said, ‘Neither superiority complex is good for you nor inferiority complex is good for you.’

Then what should you do? HDE enquires us to be as we are. When we do good, say thank you. When we do bad; sorry, I won’t repeat the mistake. This is the reality.

Emotional complexes, as I assume, are fantasies. We are just thinking. Sometimes you are good, but you think you are bad. You know why you are bad? Because you are declaring yourself bad without even calculating your bad things. You assume you are bad and you enforce it upon you.

Optimising Intelligence

God has given everybody equal intelligence.

I have seen the movie ‘Lucy’ – Nobody’s brain works more than 15%-20%. If your brain starts to work 25% you will leave all the scientists behind. But they do not know how to increase the ability of the brain to its optimum. [In the movie] they use a special green liquid which releases into the womb of the mother when the baby is growing inside the stomach called CPH4, if that substance is inserted into your body it will multiply the cells in the brain. Maybe that will work 25%. If your brain works more than 20%, you can control everything with your mind.

When I was in school I learnt hypnotism. What you need to do is either absorb the blue light in the candle or look at the sun without blinking for five minutes, then gradually increase the time, the duration. I used to look at the sun without blinking for at least two hours. After that, if I would concentrate on a glass, I would break it. If I concentrate on your brain, I can make you do anything. This is when your brain is working in small digits in comparison to others. If your brain works 20%, you will become a saint of God. So much power is given to you! 

Why is the brain not working at its optimum? Because there are three layers on the soul of the brain, the Subtlety of Ana. If your Ana is enlightened and you have seen God your brain works at 100%. [Those who reach this stage] have to control [themselves] by doing stupid things. They know things but it is difficult for them to behave like a normal person. While they try to behave like a normal person they always make mistakes and people think they are stupid.

So, do not think you are bad. Do not think you are lower than anybody. God has given all of you the same optimum in everything you have been given, for except your access to him. 

Access to God depends on how much nearness he wants to grant you. You cannot be nearer to God more than God desires you to be. It is all up to him. However, as long as the ability of your physical organs is concerned, you are all equal. All you need to do is charge up or awaken those extra senses that you have been granted by God. 

The complex that you are inferior or superior to somebody is just a mind game. It comes from the society. It comes from the classes of society. There are systems of classes in different countries. Here, we have social classes. For example, somebody from a working class works at McDonald’s, we can understand he doesn’t have enough resources to go to university and acquire higher education, therefore his level of understanding of life is lower than those who have been granted a prestigious lifestyle. They have been less fortunate in relation to having access to an abundance of money and opportunities to them.

These divisions and classes are the results of inabilities and incapacities; sometimes mental incapacity and most of the time financial incapacity. But then, [you are only using] 20% of your brain. No human being on earth can cross over 20% usage of the brain. After 20% there is a layer placed by God.

However, once you have seen God, that layer is removed. Then, forget about spirituality, if you only use your brain you can control the entire world. Honestly.

Before you reach that level in spirituality where your brain has extended its capacity to 100% – reaches its optimum – God wants to churn you. [He wants you] to go through the process of self-denial so that, in the end, when you discover this divine treasure, you don’t own it. You simply say, ‘This is with the blessings of the Lord. I am a piece of shit.’ You go through this divinely imposed cycle of negation and self-denial. God wants to make sure that there is nothing left of you in you when this treasure is finally opened up. This is why when people have this ability, they sit there and look stupid. You suspect them [and think] had he had this much power, he wouldn’t be sitting here stupidly.

For example, you are starving; no food to eat, no place to go to, you can’t even buy a loaf of bread and you say,’ I have billions of dollars in my pocket’. We will not believe you. Why?  Our intellect has only seen a few patterns of emotions. [We will think] if he had the money why would he be starving? These are the patterns of emotions life shows us.

Divine Light

What is light? Light consists of photons. There is a body of photons and there is a soul of photons. The body of photons is what we see and the soul of photons is divine energy that goes in the heart. When the divine energy reaches the heart; the moment it is completely energised there is a big bang, like your skull has been cracked open. That is the sound of the eruption of energy, not the skull. Then, the third eye opens up.

After this, you will have two windows in front of your eyes: the exterior and interior of people. What they say and what they have in their heart; you can see both at the same time.

This complex of emotions has to be steered in the right way and that right way is being grateful to the Lord. Do not attribute any goodness to yourself. Because what is in you now has come from God; it is the attribute of God. So you must attribute all the goodness in you to God. Our emotions should be based on this. All our emotions should always be based on this line that any goodness that we have today is from our Lord. When you have this emotion, you are successful. 

Superiority and Inferiority Complexes

Point to be noted: sometimes you do not suffer from any complex. If you are doing the right thing and everybody around you is incorrect; you think people should follow you. This is a balanced thought. There is nothing wrong with this. There is no ego and superiority involved in it. It is a simple matter of discipline. However, people will steer your attention to a misguided direction and say you are being egoistic. These are negative things that come from those who do not want to correct themselves, rather they put the blame on others.

We don’t understand what these complexes are. Maybe somebody who suffers from superiority complex is humble and maybe somebody who is suffering from inferiority complex is arrogant.

These complexes are about the thoughts; either complex can become a deterrent for you to learn further. If you suffer from superiority complex it is like you shut the door on yourself, ‘I cannot learn anything else, [I have all the knowledge]’. If you suffer from inferiority complex, you shut the door: ‘I am not able to learn anything’. The result is the same! Therefore, both complexes are bad. 

You have to live a real life, don’t live in fantasies or dreams. Even before the creation of computers, a majority of people lived in the virtual world; the world of dreams. People set a desired list and they call that list of luxury their dream. They live all their life in pursuit of that desired list of luxury. When it doesn’t happen they plunge into the pond of inferiority complex. And if by mistake they get even half of what they have desired, they plunge into a superiority complex.

Live a realistic life. Be a realistic person. Forget about plans. Live for today; but don’t think about today, think about tomorrow. Be ambitious but not over ambitious.

Emotional Wellbeing

Our emotions are often less complex than we imagine them to be. Most people think that the things that have hurt you are what cause you to experience emotional pain, and in order to heal and experience real happiness you must resolve those old wounds. The reality, however, is somewhat different.

You can only feel emotions, including the painful ones, in the present moment. And what you feel in the present moment is determined by what you give your attention to. Nothing can hurt you unless you give it your attention. Most people can make themselves cry in just a few minutes by simply pulling up a vivid memory of something that was, at that time, painful. So why would you give your attention to things that cause pain?

If you think about the painful memory in life and you are actually concentrating on it, you are indulging in the luxury of pain, I think you yourself are to blame for it. Avoid thinking about the painful memories of life.

Some negative events can hold your attention. You perceive them to be a threat. Most people who ruminate on a negative past are simply unaware that they are doing it and there is no choice in the matter. Things you are unaware of are outside your control. Learning how to become aware of what you are paying attention to and how to shift your attention to something to make you feel better is one of the most powerful tools. This is for improving your emotional wellbeing.

Some people are in the pursuit of happiness. But they don’t know how to control their emotions. Some people want happiness but they don’t know what happiness is. Some people think happiness is all about having money and luxury. No. The nature of happiness differs from one person to another.

What we think and what we feel is determined by what we pay attention to. Not only do we have the ability to shift our attention away from painful things and give our attention to more pleasant thoughts or memories. As we do this, it inhibits our ability to think about the unpleasant painful things.

This happens because attention works on an activation/inhibition model: if you are paying attention to negative things it will almost take away the ability from you to think about the positive. You can either think negative or positive. You can’t be negative and positive at the same time. That’s why psychologists often say that people with depression see a more depressed world. The more you start to give your attention to things that feel good and start to see a more positive world, over time you will find yourself noticing fewer of the negatives in life.

Once you are aware you can do it, shifting your attention is something on which you can exert complete control. You can choose what you want to pay attention to and as a result, you can choose how you want to feel. For example, if you say to yourself, ‘I want to feel good today’ and you do not pay attention to negativity around you, you will feel better.

Try this with a friend: The next time you are talking to someone who is telling you about something negative happening to them, ask them to tell you about some positive experience instead. Then, notice the change in their facial expressions. When people start to talk about positive events that feel good, they start to smile; it is an almost involuntary reaction.

Does that sound too easy? Here is a tip that will make it even easier:

There are only two things in life that you can pay attention to that cause you to experience emotion: things you want and things you don’t want. Every single thing that you can think of that causes any type of significant emotion can be sorted into one of those two categories. Breakups, job loss, betrayal, the death of a loved one — all things you don’t want. Pets, best friends, birthday parties, getting a raise — all things you do want. You will always know when you are giving your attention to things that you don’t want in life; your emotions will tell you. Paying attention to things you don’t want generates negative emotions.

Sometimes we think about our past, we think about people that we did not want to associate with. We want to follow up with them, like what they are doing, what’s happening [in their life]? It’s painful, isn’t it? We should only pay attention to positive things in our life.

One of the most self-sabotaging things that people can give their attention to is an unwanted future.

Nothing in the future has actually happened, yet many people spend a good deal of their time experiencing negative emotions like anxiety, fear, and self-doubt because they are giving their attention to things they don’t want to occur. Doing this not only robs them of their present-moment happiness, but also prevents them from thinking about the positive experiences they could be creating in their future instead.

Our attention is the gateway to what we experience in life. Your attention is precious.

We should not give our attention to things or people who don’t deserve it rather they give us pain. You need to treasure your attention like it is something really unique. Your attention is your life. You cannot spend your life [focusing on the negative]. Your attention is very precious. Only apply your attentions to things that need your attention and it will be fruitful for you in life to put a smile on your face.

‘Learning to notice what you are paying attention to, and how to redirect your attention to things you want can change not only your current experience but also the life you create for yourself going forward.’ 

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About the Author
Younus AlGohar is the Representative of the Awaited One Lord Ra Riaz Gohar Shahi and CEO of Messiah Foundation International. He has been recognised as an Ambassador of Peace and Man of Valour. He is an advocate of divine love and interfaith harmony.
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